Childhood Nostalgia: Being the Backpack Holder

Remember the days when you looked forward to bodily harm? Now when you get hurt, you just struggle. When you get hurt as a kid a whole new world opens up not just for you, but for your friends as well. You a damn lie if you say that there was no better day than the one in which you walked into homeroom and saw one of your friends on crutches.
There is no greater job in school than being your crippled friend's backpack holder. You get to leave 15 minutes early and experience the creepy, yet cool feeling that is walking through an empty hallway because god forbid your friend gets knocked over. You get to get to the next class early, and experience another creepy, yet cool feeling: watching your teacher prepare for the class. Sometimes if you were lucky you heard the last bit of the lesson and if you were a nerd like me, raised your hand like a boss and tried to act cool while everyone else wondered how you got that answer. Being the backpack holder was 4-6 straight weeks of no lunch lines, completely empty bathrooms, and trying to stifle laughter as your friend hit asshole classmates and scary teachers "accidentally" with their crutches. Ahhh to the good 'ol days....

Not Shocking At All News: Lil Wayne has Epilepsy

About 2 weeks ago Lil Wayne almost died. TMZ reported it, and then twitter exploded, and then we found out that he was kinda, sorta not dead but in the ICU. Last week Lil Wayne came out and said that he's epileptic. Sorry to hear that, I seriously am. However, I would probably feel a little more remorse if you weren't  drinkin 3 big ass styrofoam cups of sizzurp every day. High grade codeine isn't good for anyone, let alone someone who has a delicate neurological disorder. Same goes for all the weed he smokes, because if he's like most hood smokers I know, his best asset is rolling pristine blunts. Awesome skill, but doesn't help when it comes to breaking down the difference between reg and exo, sativia and indica, or what strains have high concentrations of THC, CBN, or CBC. Depending on what he's smoking, Wayne could either be helping or hurting his condition. He could either be calming himself down, which will lead to less seizures, or speeding his blood pressure up, thus causing more seizures. Either way, Wayne doesn't seem to give any fux, which is wonderful for a dad of four kids......YOLO!

Disney You Sneaky Bastard!: Lion King Edition

I love watching movies I haven't seen in a few years, especially children's movies. You always discover some adult joke you were too ignorant to get when you were like 8. Now, thanks to ABC Family, The Disney Channel, and my random ass work schedule, I have been watching a lot of these movies and laughing my ass off at the random plot holes I missed, as well as the skanky story lines I didn't realize existed. Here's the Lion King's: